Sinful Desires Page 4

  “Wow. He’s caring for a brother-in-law,” Nikolaj says, crossing his arms over his chest. Something about the way he words his thoughts firms my decision.

  “Listen, Nikolaj. There’s more to why Bryce was there last night.”

  “Is there? The two of you did look very close,” he says with a stern look.

  This is an uncomfortable enough conversation to have with him, but having to do it while he’s butt naked makes it much more awkward.

  “Bryce didn’t only come out to find new potential clients and mingle with New York’s rich and famous. He came because the day before the gala I…” Shit, I don’t want to relive this, but Nikolaj deserves to know.

  “Carry on. What were you going to say?” The muscles around Nikolaj’s jaw tense as he clenches the cup he’s holding a little tighter.

  “Do you remember the question you asked me in Barcelona after you came out for dinner with Diego and my mom?”

  “You’re going to have to refresh my memory, love. A lot has happened since then.”

  “You were about to walk out to find another room because I was getting nervous about how quickly things were moving between us. You asked me for his name. The guy who made it impossible for me to believe not all men are jerks.”

  “Ah. I do remember now.”

  “I couldn’t bring myself to open such an ugly Pandora’s box with you.”

  “You never did share his name with me and I didn’t want to push.”

  “I should have told you since it’s such an old story, but it’s laced with such bad memories.”

  “So what’s his name?”

  Even after last night, it’s still hard for me. I don’t love him anymore, but the idea I held on for so long to the memory of a man who turned out to be a complete asshole tears me apart.

  “Luke Elliot Rutherford.”

  “Ah. I see.”

  “I didn’t expect to see him there.”

  “What are you talking about? Was he there last night?”

  “Yes. I had no clue he was business partners with the main pastry chef Walter had hired. Had I known, I would have flat-out refused the contract. I made a promise to myself to avoid Luke at all costs.”

  “Did your asshole of an ex-boyfriend come on to you or something? I still don’t understand why your brother-in-law was there last night.”

  “When I saw Luke two days ago, he revealed a side of him I had refused to see. He was downright demeaning to me and he had the audacity to bring up the compromising royal photos, which are now on the Internet for the rest of my life. It’s the way he said it.”

  “Said what?”

  “Let me go back. I hadn’t seen him in seven years. We were so young when he asked me to marry him, but I was madly in love and willing to ignore my parents’ concern and a number of red flags.”

  “Red flags?”

  “His mother hated me and she was disappointed her only son was going to end up marrying a woman with a funny last name who didn’t have any Southern roots.”

  “She sounds charming.”

  “I always thought she was the devil personified. She did her best to discredit me and my mother never understood why a stubborn person like myself would be willing to put up with a future monster-in-law.”

  “Why were you willing to go there?”

  “I was madly in love—so I thought.”

  “Ah, of course. I’ve heard love can make people do such foolish things.”

  “Luke broke my heart into a million pieces when he called off the wedding four weeks before we were supposed to walk down the aisle. I was crushed for years. I finished my culinary degree, but I didn’t pursue a career in the field for much longer after graduation because I couldn’t handle running into him and his new wife.”

  “He sounds like a total jerk.”

  “Yeah, he is in so many ways. I lived for years with guilt. I blamed myself for not being good enough. Had it not been for Walter’s contract, I would never have realized he was such a bastard. When I bumped into Luke a few days ago, I realized how lucky I was his mother was such a royal bitch.”

  I spend the following thirty minutes explaining to Nikolaj why Bryce was at the gala acting as my bodyguard. I confess to all the terrible things Luke told me about those photos with the Count. To my surprise, it’s not as difficult as I thought to recount the horrible reunion with Luke.

  “Wow. You shared quite the story. I’m very happy Bryce was there and not me.”

  “Why?”

  “Luke would be in the hospital right now with a broken jaw and broken ribs. I wouldn’t have taken his comments about your royal scandal so lightly,” Nikolaj says, clenching his fist.

  “Bryce came so close to decking him.”

  “I knew the minute I saw you and your brother-in-law embrace things looked too cozy between the two of you, but then again, we never talked about your sister and I had no idea you had dealt with such an emotional rollercoaster before I walked in the room.”

  “No, we didn’t, and I was as shocked as Bryce was to see you. I would have warned you, but in my mind you were trapped in Copenhagen.”

  “I nearly didn’t escape in time,” Nikolaj says with a half smile.

  “Well, my sister is back in town and she suggested we all officially meet tonight at their place. I didn’t answer her text yet because I’m not sure how you feel about meeting Bryce again.”

  “Are you kidding me? I’d love to meet the guy I almost clubbed,” Nikolaj says with an evil grin.

  “Great. Sofia will be pleased to finally meet you and I’m sure you and Bryce have a lot in common.”

  “If we’re making confessions, I have one of my own to make, but give me one minute. I’ll run up and slip back into my boxer briefs before we have breakfast and then it will be my turn to spill my guts.”

  “I pulled out my sweatshirt and placed it on the bed just in case you wanted to wear it,” I call behind him as he climbs the stairs.

  I quickly put the croissants and bread in the oven and wash a few fruits before placing them on a serving plate.

  “Should I make more coffee?”

  “Yes, please, I wouldn’t mind a second cup,” he shouts from upstairs.

  I grab my stovetop espresso maker and prepare coffee for two. He walks back into the kitchen at the moment the timer rings to let me know the bread and croissants are ready.

  “Breakfast is served and you’re on time.” I grin.

  “Excellent. I’m famished,” he says, sitting at the kitchen island and reaching out for a croissant and the jar of apricot jam.

  “You had started telling me something before you ran upstairs to cover your family jewels,” I say, stifling a laugh.

  “You’re absolutely hilarious in the morning, aren’t you,” he replies with an exaggerated aristocratic British accent. “Indeed, I had started confessing something.”

  “Confessing? What a serious word.”

  “The story you shared about Luke was serious.”

  “Yeah, it was.”

  “Last night, when I saw you with Bryce, I nearly lost my head. I was raging inside.”

  “Yeah, you made it pretty clear how you felt about seeing us embrace when you didn’t know who he was.”

  “I wasn’t just upset because another guy was holding you. I was infuriated because…”

  Nikolaj looks into my eyes with such intensity it’s as if he’s trying to touch my soul with raw emotions. Fuck, the fire burning in his eyes is scorching through me. I lower my gaze, unsure where this story is going and unable to explain why his gaze is affecting me so much. My heart is beating like thunder.

  “Please look at me,” he pleads.

  I lift my eyes and meet his solemn gaze.

  He brings my hand to his lips and kisses it with such tenderness it takes my breath away. “I was angry because a guy I didn’t know was embracing the woman I so deeply love.”

  I widen my eyes, completely unprepared for his confession. My hand comes
up so fast to meet my gaping mouth I spill my mug of latte all over the counter. I jump to my feet and grab a dishcloth to contain the spill, still looking at him in sheer amazement.

  “What did you say?”

  Did he say what I think he said?

  “I thought you were purposefully creating a diversion,” he says, flashing me an amused smile.

  He gets up and bridges the distance between us. He grabs the dishcloth soaked with coffee from my hand and flings it over his shoulder before embracing me in his arms. “I thought I had lost the woman I love, Ciara.”

  “You love me?” I ask, dumbfounded by his words.

  “I couldn’t stand being away from you for another day. It was killing me to have to speak to you over the phone when I wanted to be with you. I didn’t want to have sexting sessions with you, nor did I want us to get off on a Skype video chat. I wanted to have mad, passionate, crazy sex with you.”

  I open my mouth to respond but nothing comes out. I’m so deeply moved by his words I can only close my eyes and drop my head against his chest.

  I can’t believe this is happening.

  “I know everything has been happening so fast between us and we spend so much time apart from each other, but I’ve never felt this way about any other woman in my life,” he says, lifting my chin with his index finger and meeting my gaze. “You’re uncharacteristically quiet. Should I be worried?”

  I can’t speak. My heart is beating so fast I can’t even think anymore. I’m still stuck at the ‘woman I love’ part.

  “I… You mean… Did you… Oh my God…” He loves me? Seriously?

  “Are you at loss for words because you don’t feel the same way I do or are you trying to turn me on? You’re so irresistible when you are at a loss for words,” he mocks, his lips quivering into a smile.

  I push him away and take a step back as I give him a serious look. My reaction surprises him.

  “Ah, so you don’t feel the same way,” he says, turning on his heel.

  “Don’t you dare walk away from me, Nikolaj von Henningsen.”

  He freezes in his steps and slowly turns around to face me again.

  “Did you say you loved me? I mean, maybe I misunderstood?”

  “I did say it aloud and I doubt there was any room for confusion.” He grins ear to ear.

  “Do you mean it?” I ask in a shaky voice.

  I’m so nervous I can hardly breathe. I can’t believe he’s standing in my kitchen confessing his love to me. This is surreal.

  My head is spinning at his admission and a million different emotions are colliding in my heart. We’ve been moving so fast, but as scary as this seems, it feels so right.

  “At first, I lost myself between your legs—your pussy is intoxicating. I thought we’d have some fun in Toronto and continue on our separate paths, but when I woke up by your side while you slept so peacefully next to me, your gorgeous naked body sprawled all over my bed, the morning of my departure for Tokyo, I knew there was something more. I didn’t realize how deep it would end up being. By the time I had left Barcelona, I was completely engrossed by you. Not being with you is ripping me apart, Ciara. That’s the kind of love we’re talking about here.”

  Oh. My. Lord.

  “Seeing you embracing Bryce made me realize I don’t want anyone else to have your heart. I couldn’t survive knowing another possessed you.”

  “I love you, Nikolaj,” I let out, unable to contain the passion burning deep inside me. “Barcelona changed everything for me as well.” I take a breath. “Not being with you for the last seven days has been unbearable. I was so afraid to admit to myself how I felt about you because everything between us has been moving so fast, but when I opened my eyes and I saw you standing there last night, I knew without a shadow of a doubt I was yours.”

  “Oh, baby, you’re mine and I’m all yours.” He cradles my face between his hands before crushing my lips in a kiss. “I’m so crazy about you, baby. I can’t stand being apart from you and I haven’t got a clue how I’ve survived so many years without knowing how sweet life can be waking up by your side.” Jesus. “I can’t even begin to tell you how it feels to turn around in the middle of the night and be engulfed by the warmth of the person I love.”

  “Nikolaj, waking up in your arms is my favorite part of the day and falling asleep nestled into your warm body is my second favorite.”

  He kisses me tenderly. We rarely kiss like this. We’re always so eager to devour each other, but this is lovely.

  “I have a little something for you.”

  “You’re kidding. Another gift?”

  “Yup.” He smiles proudly like a kid who solved the Rubik’s cube for the first time.

  “You’re insane.” I laugh, shaking my head.

  “You can’t prevent me from showering the woman who holds my heart in her hands with gifts. Give me a second.” He runs back upstairs.

  My sister is going to have a heart attack when I tell her, and Harley—well, she may never recover from this news.

  I never thought I’d ever allow myself to love again, but I can’t think of anyone else I’d want to love more than Nikolaj.

  “I was looking for the perfect gift to show you how much I love you and when I couldn’t find it, I had this little token custom-made.” Nikolaj runs back to the kitchen holding a small dark brown bag. “It arrived right before I left Copenhagen to come here. I had it shipped from New Bond Street in London,” he says, casually handing me the bag.

  New Bond Street? Are we talking about the same posh street located in a high-end shopping area of London? Gosh. The most prestigious luxury brands collide on the same street beckoning to be explored—if you have the budget for such opulence.

  “You’re officially spoiling me. You realize your being here is my gift?”

  “Yeah, but what’s in the little bag is a reminder of how deeply I love you when I’m not by your side.”

  Now he’s piqued my curiosity. When I open the bag and pull out the brown box with gold lettering, I gasp at the sight of two letters in gold lettering—H and W. “Harry Winston?” I say, my eyes bouncing between the box and Nikolaj’s amused gaze. I think I’m going to pass out now.

  “I wanted something you could wear every day, as I’m aware wearing the bracelet I gave you a few weeks ago to go the grocery store is slightly unrealistic.” He grins.

  I’m so shocked I can only stare into his eyes, still holding the unopened little box.

  “I hope you like it.”

  “I’m sure I’ll love it,” I respond in a whisper.

  “Are you going to open the box?” He’s taking so much pleasure seeing me like this.

  He is the most unpredictable man I’ve ever known.

  I finally muster the courage to lift the lid off of the box and I take a step back, shocked by the sight of the most beautiful piece of jewelry I’ve ever seen.

  “I asked them to design two interlaced hearts in diamonds—yours and mine.”

  “It’s… I mean… I can’t even…”

  “My sweet, adorable Ciara is at a loss for words again,” he teases as he brushes my hair behind my shoulders. “Come on, turn around so I can place it around your neck.”

  I obey and turn around. The second he closes the clasp to the necklace, I bring my hand to it and I touch it lovingly. “It’s so beautiful I can’t wait to see myself in a mirror.”

  “I was hoping you’d stroke it like this.”

  I look at him, puzzled.

  “When your hands caress the two hearts I hope you’ll always think of me.”

  “Don’t get me wrong, I love this necklace, but I don’t need it to think of you. Lately, you’ve been on my mind morning, noon, and night.”

  “There isn’t one person in this world I want more than I want you, Ciara.”

  “Ditto,” I say, hiding my head in his chest.

  “So I guess this is the part where I take you upstairs and make sweet love to you?”

  “Nah
. We don’t do sweet. Or predictable. I want you to fling me over your shoulder like a caveman and I want you to climb those stairs towards my bedroom. You’re going to slam the door to my bedroom open like a famished beast holding his prey and I want you to throw my body against my bed so hard I have to grip the sheets for dear life to avoid bouncing off of it.”

  “Anything else on your list?”

  The lust I read in his eyes makes me desperate for him. Reaching out, I tangle my hands in his hair as I pull him closer and whisper in his ear, “That’s just the warmup.” I grin. “Then I want the man I love to make me come until I pass out. Remember, we don’t do nice and slow.”

  “No, we don’t.”

  We both laugh.

  “God, I love you, Ciara.”

  BOOK 5—SINFUL DESIRES

  Chapter Four

  “Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God,” Harley squeals.

  If she says that one more time, I’m going to call 911 because the way she’s groping at her chest I swear she’ll have a heart attack and I’ll have to resuscitate her.

  “Are you kidding me? He said the l-word?”

  Harley and I have ditched our usual Sunday brunch place and opted to spend a lazy afternoon at her place catching up. I love seeking refuge at Harley’s New York brownstone. She bought her place a few years after her floral business exploded and it’s such a contrast to the tiny apartment she used to live in. With Harley’s jovial personality, it’s no surprise her home is a kaleidoscope of bright colors. She’s been able to import the sleek Miami décor right into the middle of Manhattan by pairing bold accents of color with calming neutrals. Harley has been using her home as a test lab since she’s moved in, which explains the insane number of gorgeous bouquets of flowers displayed throughout her home. I love every room in her place, but I particularly adore her living room. No matter how many times I visit, we always end up right here in this laid-back setting.

  I haven’t seen Harley since the day her brother-in-law threw her sister out of their home and she’s been so busy with damage control we’ve barely talked. Other than a few short text messages here and there, she’s been missing in action.

  “Yes, I still can’t believe it myself.”

  “And you said it too? You feel the same way he does?”